Dear Son,

We only have 2 days left until your due date! Can you believe that? I am just finishing up things around the house for you to come home. Oh my am I excited! I can hardly even sit still because I am so anxious. I am so anxious to hold you and kiss you and see what you look like. I am so anxious for your dad to hold you and for us to be a wonderful little family. You mean the world to me and I can hardly wait to show you how much I love you. This past week has been a little tough. I can barely walk, I wabble around like a 90 year old woman. Dad has been laughing at me as I try to walk around…it’s funny to him! He is so great at helping me get around and is so thoughtful! We are so excited for you to come home to us. I took another picture last night so that you could see what you looked like inside of mommy right before you came out. This is me at 40 weeks. I sure hope you decide to come out soon.

We sure love you son!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

Today you hit you are 39 weeks along! I can’t even believe it. Your dad came with me to my doctor’s appointment this morning . The appointment went well! I just can’t believe that we are so close to being done. It’s hard waiting around everyday wondering when you will decide to come out. I hope you come play with me soon. I would love so much if you came in a few days, but you probably wont. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Please come out soon!

I love you so very much!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

I am so sorry for my lack in writing to you the past couple months.  Things have been a little crazy as your father and I are trying to get everything ready for you.  We bought you a huge pack of diapers from Costco the other day.  The diapers have cute little monkeys on them…they are so cute!  The other day I bought you some special Q-Tips for your ears that are especially for babies.  I also got another basket for your bedroom and bought some binkies.  I finished making your name for your room.  That sure was a fun little project.  I bought some special baby detergent for your clothes and I am going to get those all washed along with your blankets so everything can be nice and clean for you.  Your dad and I put the car seat in the car, and I set up your stroller.  Boy am I anxious for you to get here!  I have been designing all sorts of baby announcements this last week so I can have the perfect announcement for you.  That sure has been a lot of fun for me.

You are so strong!  You kick like you can’t imagine.  Your favorite thing to do is to kick me really hard up against my right ribs.  The other day you were pushing your little heel out towards my belly button and then rolling your foot forward.  I could feel your entire foot and that was amazing.  Your dad really enjoyed feeling you do that.  The next day you decided to play a little game with me.  You were kicking out one of your feet, and then I would touch it and you would hide it and kick out your other foot.  So then I would go feel that foot, and once again you would hide it and switch feet.  You kept doing this over and over again.  I was just laying on my back playing the game back with you and you kept making me smile and laugh.  You are one smart little guy!  My body is in so much pain these days.  You are laying so low down in me that my pelvic area and legs are so sore.  I can barely walk or move.  I wabble around the house because my legs hurt so bad.  Your dad has to help me into bed because I can’t even lift up my own legs.  I feel so helpless.  I can’t do anything.  I think about you all day long, wondering when you are going to come out and play with me.  We only have ten days left until you are due.  I am hoping you decide to come early but I am sure you won’t.  Everyone is so anxious to meet you.  Your Grandma Richards is coming down here in a few days to help me with everything.  Oh are we excited for you to come home!  Please come out soon…I sure love you!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

It feels so unreal to be counting down the days until you come.  I remember back when I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared.  Your dad and I had JUST gotten married and it for sure wasn't in the plans.  I soon started getting very excited as I thought about having you in our family.  I remember my first doctors appointment, how excited and frustrated I was.  I was so angry and upset that I wasn't going to be able to listen to the heartbeat or get an ultrasound...but I was so excited to have my first appointment.  I remember those early days how I would walk into the doctor's office and feel so out of place.  Everywhere I looked there were women who were so pregnant and there was me, not even showing yet.  I remember thinking how askward it would be when I started showing and thinking I would never reach that point.  The next appointment was our 12 week appointment and I remember hearing your heart beat for the first time.  Tears of joy just ran down my face as I laid there listening.  I then hopped off the bed and hugged your father and couldn't let go.  I remember so vividly the day that I thought I lost you.  I remember the instant pain in my heart and the uncontrollable sobs.  I remember going over to your aunt and uncles house.  Your dad and Uncle Scott gave me a blessing.  What a sweet blessing your dad gave me and the love I felt.  We then went to the hospital and I remember them trying to hook me up to the IV and them wheeling me into a room to get the ultrasound.  I was so nervous to find out if you were still alive.  Right away we saw the heart flickering and it was the best feeling.  That night we also found out that you were a BOY!  I remember the excitement I felt, I swear nobody could wipe that smile off my face!  I remember when I started to finally show and how jealous I was of the women further along than me...which was everyone!  I remember reading my friends blogs and looking at their pictures thinking I would never ever get to that point.  A lot of my friends have now had their babies and I enjoy reading updates and looking at the pictures.  I remember about two weeks ago when you wouldn't move.  I was so nervous.  It was one in the afternoon and you hadn't moved or kicked once.  No matter what I tried to do to you to move, you wouldn't budge!  Thoughts started running through my mind of what I would do if I lost you.  Pain attacked my heart of the thought of it.  You mean the world to me, and I was not about to lose you!  I remember your Aunt Maria rushing me over to the hospital and your dad met us there.  They hooked me up to the machines and we heard your heart beat still going strong...and then you decided to start moving around like crazy.  I guess you thought it was funny to be a little stinker and play a cruel joke on mommy that day.  Well here I am now, laying on the couch, posting this post.  You are awake right now and enjoying kicking me in the side.  I am 37 weeks along and I have 20 days left until you are due.  I am one of those pregnant women I used to be jealous of.  Where did the time fly to?  This is so unreal.  This is so exciting.  This is so scary.  This is so PERFECT!

I love you!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

You hit your 32 week mark today!  Look how big you are!  I am getting so close to holding you and taking care of you.  Your daddy and I started taking birthing classes last night so we know what to expect when you come.  Oh I can’t tell you enough how badly I want to have you here with me.  You kick me all day long and you love to kick me where it hurts the most.  Although I am in a lot of pain all the time, you are worth it.  I wouldn’t trade it in for anything.  Your Aunt Maria and Aunt Katie are throwing me a baby shower in a few days and you will get all sorts of fun stuff.  I am so excited to have clothes and toys for you.  I sure love you so much.  I enjoy laying on my back in bed and watching you kick and roll around inside of me.  When you do, my whole stomach moves around.  It is so fun watch and to see how you move…you are just so cute!

I sure love you!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

Today, you and I hit our 29 week mark.  We have 2 ½ more months to go.  You hit a major growth spurt over the last couple weeks.  I cannot believe how big you are.  At this point you should be a little over 15 inches long!  You sure have gotten big because my belly is now HUGE!  You play inside of me all day long non stop.  I have noticed that you tend to go crazy when I am in the bath tub.  Every time I am in the bath tub and get in the hot water you start kicking and moving more than normal.  When you look at my stomach I can see you moving around in there.  It’s almost like an earthquake!  My back is really starting to hurt and my body sure is feeling this pregnancy.  No matter how in pain I am or just need to cry it out, I know this is worth it.  I just want to be done so I can hold you and kiss you.  I just want you to come home with me and your daddy. Your father and I have been doing so much around the house to make room for you.  We are so excited for you to come.  I love you so much and can hardly wait.  Just 2 ½ more months and then you get to come home!  Hang in there.  We love you!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

Today we picked up your furniture for your bedroom.  It took a lot of help to get it from the store to your room.  Your dad, your grandpa Bennett, your uncle Scott, and uncle Jon helped me out.  It was so wonderful to get everyone’s help carrying the huge boxes.  Dad and I spent all afternoon setting up the crib and the rest of the furniture.  Your crib took about an hour and a half to get all set up and then the rest was so easy.  I still need to get some decorations for the room and get it all ready for you.  Your bedroom sure is looking great though.  I took a nap in your room tonight.  I just sat in the chair and couldn’t stop thinking about you, and then I just fell asleep.  I have been sitting in that chair all night.  I just love you so much and I bet I will be spending the next three months sitting in that room, waiting for you! 

Yesterday was Christmas and I wish you were here for it.  Your Grandma and Grandpa Richards bought you so much clothes and I can hardly wait to dress you in them.  Your Grandma bought you this cute bodysuit that says, “Property of Mom FOREVER!”  When I saw it I almost started crying.  I just want to hold you so bad and take care of you.  Christmas was so great!  I am using my Christmas money to get a video camera so that we can take lots of fun videos of you.  That will be so fun.  Your Daddy bought 2 suits for church with his money and they look so nice.  We really wish you were here with us for Christmas!  Next year you will though and you will be 9 months old.  Oh I can hardly wait! 

I love you!

Love, Mommy

Buying you toys!

Dear Son,

We started ordering some of your furniture this week.  It has been so much fun buying all sorts of fun things for you.  The other day I ordered your dresser and nightstand and the glider chair for your nursery.  Then last night your dad and I went to babies r us to get some more stuff.  We ordered your crib and bought the mattress to go inside and also your bedding.  I sure hope you like it.  The bedding looks so comfortable for you.  We also got your travel system so you can go everywhere with us.  What a travel system is, is your stroller and car seat that attach together.  Your father and I picked out a really nice one that will keep you very safe.  You should have seen your daddy in the store last night.  He was having so much fun with all the toys and pushing around the strollers.  He was making us all laugh.  I wish you could have seen it.  You are just going to love your dad so much, and he is getting so excited to play with you.  Your furniture should start coming in really soon.  I am hoping it will come in by Christmas so we can start setting up your room for the holidays.  Your Grandma and Grandpa Bennett are coming here for Christmas this year and I would love for them to be able to see your furniture.  Everyone is getting so excited for you to come and meet them.  I sure love you son!

Love, Mommy

Dear Son,

You are really starting to kick a lot.  Last night was so fun.  I just laid in your dad’s lap on the couch and we both felt you kicking so much.  When your dad feels you kick, his face lights up and he smiles.  He sure loves you a lot.  I laid there for over an hour and just felt you moving over and over again.  One time last night when your dad put his hand on my stomach, you kicked a few times in a row.  He said, “Wow, he sure kicks you a lot!  It looks like we have a little soccer player!”  Some days you are so active and move all day and never stop.  Other days you don’t move very much.  I just love laying there on my back and feel you kicking and rolling!

We have picked out all of your furniture for your room and we are going to start ordering it here pretty soon.  We just had Thanksgiving, it fell on your dad’s birthday this year.  Christmas is coming up in a couple weeks and right after Christmas I am going to clean out your bedroom.  I am so excited to put your room together so I can sit in there and wait for you to come.  I am so anxious to hold you and I can’t stop dreaming about you.  I am getting close to my third trimester, which means I don’t have too much longer.  I just love you so much and can hardly wait! 

Love, Mommy

21 week picture

We are half way there...

Dear Son,

We are now officially half way done!  As of today I am 20 weeks along and we have 20 more weeks to go.  It is so fun to know that I am half way there to holding your precious little body in my arms.  I can hardly wait for that moment! 

Last night your dad was holding his hand on my stomach, trying to feel you kick.  You aren’t kicking really strong yet so I thought it would be awhile longer until he could experience it.  Well after a few times of him holding my stomach, you kicked and he finally got to feel you.  It was such a wonderful night for me because now your dad can start experiencing the pregnancy with me.  It has just been you and I for the past 20 weeks, and now your dad is included.  How wonderful is that?  You are going to love your dad.  He is so funny and goofy and I know he will play with you constantly.  I know you two will be the best of friends!

I can hardly wait for tonight when I lay in bed.  I just lay there and hold my stomach and enjoy feeling you play inside of me.  I love you so much son!  I know you are just going to be the most wonderful thing ever and I can hardly wait for you to come to us!

Love, Mommy

YOU MOVE!

Dear Son,

Today has been such a great day!  It’s my day off from work and I have been able to just relax .  This afternoon I felt something so strange inside my stomach and this time I KNOW it was you.  I kept feeling you over and over again and then it stopped.  Well you just started moving around again a few minutes ago.  I can feel you right now as I am writing to you.  I wish that it was strong enough for your daddy to feel, but it isn’t yet.  So he will just have to wait and I can enjoy you by myself!  I wish I could describe what it feels like but there are no words!  Pretty soon you will start kicking all over the place and I will be able to see you move!  It sure is fun to feel you move.  You have been so active today and I guess you are just having fun playing inside of mommy! 

I love you so much!

Love, Mommy

Another picture of your cute little face!

Dear Son,

Today we had another ultrasound.  I was so excited all morning, anxiously waiting for the appointment so I could see you again.  (It’s like waiting the night before Christmas for Santa to come!)  The whole appointment you just stayed curled in a little ball.  You would move your legs a little bit, but you never moved out of your tight ball.  The ultrasound lady kept bouncing my stomach to see if you would move but I guess you were just too comfortable!  Once during the ultrasound you moved your arm around and it looked like you were waving to me.  It brought the biggest smile to my face!

You are growing well and your heart beat is strong. The lady said that you just looked perfect!  I know I tell you a lot, but I want to tell you that I love you so very much.  Sometimes my body hurts a lot, but I would never trade you in for anything in this world.  You mean so much to me and I can hardly wait to hold you. 

I love you son!

Love, Mommy

What a growth spurt!

Dear Son,

        I just wanted to show you your little growth spurt you just hit.  I feel like I just woke up the last two days and all of a sudden my belly grew.  I don’t know where it came from.  I am almost 18 weeks along at this point.  Man are you starting to grow.  I can hardly wait to feel you moving around.  I love you so much! 

Love, Mommy

So anxious!

Dear Son,

I am now 16 weeks along as of today.  We are getting so close to be half way done!  My stomach is starting to get a little bit bigger because you are growing so much.  I have been on bed rest the last week and will continue for two more weeks.  I am trying to take care of you because your health is so important. 

Often I find myself laying down and with my hands on my stomach.  I just lay there and think about you, craving you to finish growing so I can hold you!  Words cannot describe how much I love you.  The other day I felt the strangest feeling in my stomach and it was so strong.  I am pretty sure that it was you that I felt, but I haven’t felt it again so I am not positive. 

I just wanted to tell you that we love you so much and can hardly wait for your arrival.  Your entire family is so excited and I know that your grandma’s are dying to meet you.  They both ask about you and I know they can hardly wait to hold you like your Father and I…

I love you!

Love, Mommy

Today we had an ultrasound!

There is your little face!  This was an ultrasound taken at 15 weeks.  We love you!

What a scary day!

Dear Son,

Today I had such a scare. Your father and I thought we lost you. It seemed as if I was having a miscarriage because of some complications today. I was so scared and lost control. I wanted you to come to our family so bad and couldn’t think of losing you. We called our doctor and he said we needed to go to the Emergency Room right away and get an ultrasound. Well we saw your heart beat flickering in the picture and saw you moving around! It brought so much joy to me to know that you were okay. We asked the doctor during that ultrasound if they could see if you were a boy or a girl yet and she could. She told us that you were a boy! Your dad and I were so excited because we were hoping for a boy first so you could protect your little sisters. We just love you so much and are so glad you are okay!

Love, Mommy

Your heart beat

Dear Baby,

We had another doctor’s appointment this morning. Today was very special for your dad and I because we were able to hear your heart beat for the first time. In those few moments that we listened to you, my heart stopped beating and tears starting flowing down my face. Let me tell you…it was the best feeling in the world! Your heart was beating so fast and so many thoughts were going through my mind. I thought of what you were doing right now in my stomach, and what you looked like. I also was dreaming about holding you in my arms and your father and I singing to you and tickling you. Oh, how great it will be to have you in our lives.

We met one of the other doctors today, his name was Dr. Gamette. He sure was a nice man, and as soon as he walked into the room, I instantly felt a connection to him. He looked and acted like my Grandpa Tanner. He cracked some funny jokes like your great grandpa does, you sure are going to love him! It is really great to meet a new doctor each appointment so that I know all of the doctors when you come. I can hardly wait for that day to come!

I wish words could describe the feelings that I felt when we listened to your cute little heart beat today. As I sit here a couple hours later, I can still hear the beating in my head. I remember every detail of your heart beat, and I every time I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. I can’t even tell you how much I love you. It’s great to know that you are my child, and that I am going to be your mom. I love you so much. As soon as Dr. Gamette left the room, I jumped down off the table and gave your father a huge hug. I just stood there in his arms and cried on his shoulder. Oh how much I love you, and I know that your daddy does too…

See you soon!

Love, Mommy

Our first appointment!

Dear baby,

Today your dad and I went to our first doctor’s appointment. It was so exciting to go and meet one of the doctor’s who might help bring you to us. His name was Dr. Jacob. He was a really nice man and he helped us so much. Dr. Jacob said that I am 8 ½ weeks along, which is so exciting. He checked to make sure that you are growing to be the right size, and you are! The doctor said that we could be expecting you around April 2^nd and we can hardly wait! We go back in 4 weeks to meet with another one of the doctor’s. I am so excited for our next appointment so that we can learn a little bit more about you. Your dad and I love you so very much and can hardly wait to hold your tiny little body in our hands! I love you…

Love, Mommy

And here comes the sickness...

Dear Baby,

My body is really starting to change already. I am starting to feel pregnant. The last few days have been tough… I am feeling weak, tired, and my stomach hurts. I feel really bad because I am starting to get moody. I have to keep apologizing to your dad because I haven’t been very nice. All of this is just the start of the pregnancy and I hear it will get worse. It’s crazy how tired you make me. I wake up, and I am so tired for the rest of the day. My legs feel weak, and I feel so heavy. I haven’t felt hungry the last few days, I keep feeling like I just ate. Everything I am feeling is totally worth it for you. Your dad has been so great through all my mood swings and craziness. He is such a trouper…you will love him!

Love, Mommy