Baby Bennett

Dear Son,

It feels so unreal to be counting down the days until you come.  I remember back when I found out I was pregnant, I was so scared.  Your dad and I had JUST gotten married and it for sure wasn't in the plans.  I soon started getting very excited as I thought about having you in our family.  I remember my first doctors appointment, how excited and frustrated I was.  I was so angry and upset that I wasn't going to be able to listen to the heartbeat or get an ultrasound...but I was so excited to have my first appointment.  I remember those early days how I would walk into the doctor's office and feel so out of place.  Everywhere I looked there were women who were so pregnant and there was me, not even showing yet.  I remember thinking how askward it would be when I started showing and thinking I would never reach that point.  The next appointment was our 12 week appointment and I remember hearing your heart beat for the first time.  Tears of joy just ran down my face as I laid there listening.  I then hopped off the bed and hugged your father and couldn't let go.  I remember so vividly the day that I thought I lost you.  I remember the instant pain in my heart and the uncontrollable sobs.  I remember going over to your aunt and uncles house.  Your dad and Uncle Scott gave me a blessing.  What a sweet blessing your dad gave me and the love I felt.  We then went to the hospital and I remember them trying to hook me up to the IV and them wheeling me into a room to get the ultrasound.  I was so nervous to find out if you were still alive.  Right away we saw the heart flickering and it was the best feeling.  That night we also found out that you were a BOY!  I remember the excitement I felt, I swear nobody could wipe that smile off my face!  I remember when I started to finally show and how jealous I was of the women further along than me...which was everyone!  I remember reading my friends blogs and looking at their pictures thinking I would never ever get to that point.  A lot of my friends have now had their babies and I enjoy reading updates and looking at the pictures.  I remember about two weeks ago when you wouldn't move.  I was so nervous.  It was one in the afternoon and you hadn't moved or kicked once.  No matter what I tried to do to you to move, you wouldn't budge!  Thoughts started running through my mind of what I would do if I lost you.  Pain attacked my heart of the thought of it.  You mean the world to me, and I was not about to lose you!  I remember your Aunt Maria rushing me over to the hospital and your dad met us there.  They hooked me up to the machines and we heard your heart beat still going strong...and then you decided to start moving around like crazy.  I guess you thought it was funny to be a little stinker and play a cruel joke on mommy that day.  Well here I am now, laying on the couch, posting this post.  You are awake right now and enjoying kicking me in the side.  I am 37 weeks along and I have 20 days left until you are due.  I am one of those pregnant women I used to be jealous of.  Where did the time fly to?  This is so unreal.  This is so exciting.  This is so scary.  This is so PERFECT!

I love you!

Love, Mommy